Value of a service

The Value of Having a Service

Oftentimes, when we are meeting with families, they express the wish that their deceased loved one didn’t want a service or any “fuss” over them. Often, we hear that a person wants no rites in a room of those who are mourning or to have people come and view them. This leaves surviving family members conflicted with following the wishes of the deceased and also having the desire to have a service to commemorate this event in their lives.

One unique thing that unifies our world is that when a drastic life event happens such as a wedding, baptism, birth, or death, it is marked with an event. This event serves more than just the purpose of celebrating; it provides a means for those surviving to move forward. As Thomas Lynch, an undertaker in Lower Michigan, says in his book, The Undertaking, “just as we declare the living alive through baptisms and lovers in love by nuptials, funerals are the way we close the gap between the death that has happened and the death that matters”. This is the biggest value of having a service, to help facilitate the emotional process of grieving and entering a world where the deceased is no longer physically present.

After years of directing services we have noticed that having a service helps bring people together. Whether it be cousins who haven’t seen each other in years or old friends who lost touch, a service helps bring folks into one place to support each other. Whether this be a formal funeral service or a simple gathering time, the sharing of memories and mutual support is a very powerful resource to those who are mourning the loss of their loved one.

Lastly, it is important to talk about the topic of viewing the deceased. This is a very personal decision and every person is going to have differing opinions about it. Our experience tells us that viewing can be a beneficial experience in many circumstances. Our funeral home offers several options when it comes to viewing the deceased. The first is one that we are all used to, an open casket viewing during a formal visitation. We also offer less formal viewings where families can come in and pay their respects in a more private and relaxed setting. The deceased is dressed in clothing provided by the family and doesn’t have cosmetics on.